If we take the time and focus on things with a clear mind, we understand how the world seems to work and can see things as they are. However, a great deal of life is filled with ambiguity and paradox. Our nature is to try to understand. We want answers, explanations, and understanding. It is a fundamental drive. An essential part of understanding is accepting that life is full of mysteries and that we don’t always have an explanation for every question. There are some things that are hard to understand because words don’t capture them very well.
Consider the parable of the old Chinese farmer:
An old Chinese farmer who lived many years ago.
He had one old horse that he used to plow his fields. One day, the horse ran away into the hills.
Everyone said, “We are so sorry for your bad luck.”
The old man replied, “Bad luck, good luck, who knows?”
A week later, the horse returned with a herd of wild horses, which now belonged to the old man.
Everyone said, “We are so happy for your good luck!” The old man replied, “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”
While his only son was riding one of the wild horses, he fell off and broke his leg. Everyone said, “What bad luck!”
The old man replied, “Bad luck, good luck, who knows?”
One day, the army came to the village and took all the strong young men to be soldiers for the emperor.
Only the old farmer’s son was spared because he could not fight with a broken leg. Everyone said, “What good luck!”
The old man replied, “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”
-Ancient Chinese Parable
The fundamental problem is that we don’t know what the last chapter is. We may never know the last chapter. We often like to think that things happen for a reason. Sometimes things don’t happen for a singular cause. They just happen. Usually, there is a complex matrix of reasons. Life, at times, makes little sense. We don’t always have access to or understand all the factors at play. This is why we can be at a loss sometimes to explain another person’s actions. We may not have knowledge of all the things they have experienced on their journey. It is important to be okay with not trying to explain everything that happens. It might be better to embrace the ambiguities and paradoxes of life.