A few years ago, my youngest daughter asked me if I’d like to do a Tough Mudder race with her. I said, Sure. What’s a Tough Mudder? She explained that a Tough Mudder was a race where the proceeds went to the Wounded Warrior Foundation. It was about 12 miles long and, as the name implies, is 90 percent literal mud. Spaced out over the race every quarter mile or so are various obstacles. Many are ones you might picture on boot camp training courses. Others were things like ice water immersion or mud pits with electrical wires to avoid or get a rather noticeable shock. Many obstacles were wooden walls 6-12 feet high. Many of the walls were not possible to scale alone. You had to rely on another racer to stop at the top and give you a hand and sometimes also with help up from below.
I quickly realized that no matter your age, how tough you are, or athletic you are, you cannot finish a Tough Mudder race by yourself. You require help from other racers, or you would stand alone in front of a wall you cannot scale. Like most people, I often live in the illusion of being self-contained and self-reliant. However, in a Buddhist framework, we are reminded of the reality that we are interdependent. I often think about that day and am reminded how our individual accomplishments are often the result of our interdependence with others. Sometimes we can push our limits a little further with the support of others.
When I was promoted to black belt in jiujitsu, I recalled the Tough Mudder race and the feeling of interdependence. I had the same feeling about receiving the black belt. In some respects, it is an individual achievement. I get that. You must be consistent with training, struggle with the challenges and discomforts, and push yourself to where your instructor sees your progress as worthy of a black belt. You must do the work; the fairies won’t do it for you. You must have Right Effort. However, nobody gets there alone. You must have training partners. They must work with you, provide feedback, encouragement, and challenges, and “give you a hand up to overcome obstacles.” Teachers must share their knowledge and guide your development. It is a group effort when someone achieves the rank of black belt because of this interdependence.
Is exploring limits in the service of the ego? It can be if one is not careful. The important thing is to ask yourself if you are exploring limits as part of your self-growth and understanding, or are you pushing limits to be admired by others and enhance your ego? If you do things in the service of the ego, you fall into the perpetual problem of measuring. Yes, I ran a marathon. I feel good when I think of that and feel satisfaction when people admire that. However, my marathon times were far below average compared to other marathoners. I have run ultramarathons. Not many people can do that. However, I also run ultramarathons very slowly compared to “real” ultramarathon athletes. I am a black belt in jiu-jitsu. I have been a world champion several times over in my age division. However, other black belts at my school are also world champions in younger, more competitive divisions and could easily overcome me as if I were a beginner. We always run into the measuring problem when it is about ego. Who/What am I comparing my ego to? Compared to this — I come out great. Compared to that — meh, not so much. It is better in a way to ask oneself—How was that experience? What did I learn? Measuring the experience instead of the self is a very different mindset.
Exploring limits does not have to be physical activities like marathons or martial arts. These are just examples. Exploring limits can be anything. Whatever I do, can I do a little more or go a little farther in that endeavor? It’s not about proving something about who you are (I did this, I’m all that). It is more about breaking down notions that you have about who you are. Examine some things you already do and then ask yourself if I could go a little farther? Can I try something I have never done before and see how the experience unfolds?